so it begins! i never thought I'd start this blogging thing, but a while back i started being more active on instagram (literally just having those post directly posted to Facebook) and BAM - the response was incredible. i'm not sure if it's because during this whole quarantine thing people decided to read more, and perhaps i became more interesting, but i thought to myself, why not try something new?
honesty time... during all of this, and for the past few years now, i've really lost myself. i stopped doing things that i love and i started finding myself in a dark place. i'm not looking for anything in this - it's the reality of it all. the job was stressful, the boss was the worst, my parents are getting older and i kept questioning where i was in life. because it sure isn't where i thought i'd be at this age!! i thought i'd have the loving husband, some kids, a pack of dogs and i'd be starting rituals of my own with my own family. instead, i'm divorced, am down to one dog and literally hated christmas so much this past year i packed up a christmas tree i had worked on for days replacing over 700 lights on it to make it amazing. and once i sadly realized there was no one to make it amazing for or with, that really put me in a bad place.
but who would even notice? it was during this time that my doctor noticed that I wasn't myself - i'd normally go in for my annual appointment chipper and happy to discuss everything and anything. she asked me point blank if I wanted her to put me on any medication that could pull me out of my funk. it was then and there that i knew that while i needed some help, i didn't want to do it with medication that would numb the feelings that I needed to deal with. but i also recognized that doing it alone might be incredibly tough, challenging and with everything else going on - tough and challenging were enough to perhaps put me over the edge and not be able to get me out of my funk without the meds - i had to really think about what i needed to do.
finding me... i started focusing on my overall health and well-being, including diet, sleep, exercise and supplements. while starting this huge lifestyle overhaul, i started using products that i had been dabbling in over the past 4 years - some essential oils. they did something that i don't believe any medication could have done - allowed me to redirect and set my focus on the right things while allowing me to handle all of life's ups and downs that were being thrown at me simultaneously. talk about empowering!
so what now? i want to start sharing my experiences - the good and the bad - the present and the past - to help others realize that just because things on the outside look all hunky dory - sometimes they're not and that's okay. but that doesn't mean you have to change who you are - meaning that you have the ability to deal with those feelings and not lose yourself and not be consumed by those things that you cannot change. that you can still find yourself among it all - and that's what i want to share. that's what i want to help others with. and that's what i want the world to know - that you're not alone in feeling alone or overwhelmed. even when everyone thinks you're the strongest person ever - it's okay not to be. and it's okay to have to find yourself again. and it's okay to say no to the medications and say yes to more natural things that can without a doubt do the job amazingly well! **note i am NOT a doctor, these are literally my own personal experiences.
enjoy! i hope you enjoy reading this blog as much as i enjoy writing it. and if there's anything you ever want to talk about - i'd love to be a listening ear!
xoxo - VT
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